My Hotel in New York

It’s time I told you a little about my hotel in New York, the one I can afford to stay in for a week at a time, even though no one pays for my trips.

My hotel in New York is old. In fact, the elevators are so slow going up and down to my room on the 11th floor that there’s a framed document on the wall telling guests what to do while the elevator is en route. The suggestions: talk to a stranger if there’s one in the elevator with you; pray (I hope not for the success of the elevator trip); do some stretching exercises; if alone, touch your toes. The only thing not on the list: complain.

You enter the door to the room, which contains a single bed, a sink, a desk, and a TV. The TV, like the elevator, is old; it’s a Phillips, with a tiny screen and a tiny remote.

The man who checks me in at the desk barely speaks English and is not conventionally trained in hospitality. He’s probably retirement age.

At this hotel, most of the guests share a bath. On each floor, there are two WCs and two showers. I’ve been coming here for ten years, and I’ve never been unable to take a shower or use the toilet at will.  Like the single bed and the small TV, this is very un-American, but it has a comforting cleanliness.

The usual clientele is a combination of European tourists, who learn about it because it’s a Lutheran ministry, and retired Merchant Marines and seamen. It appears to me that some of them live at the hotel. It also appears that there’s an AA meeting here every evening, should you need one. It has a “social room,” where people can eat food they buy at neighboring stores and restaurants, use ancient desktop computers, and read. It also has a lobby with wifi (free) and a breakfast room. In the breakfast room? Free coffee.

The surrounding neighborhood is awesome. It’s within walking distance of movies, theatre, great little restaurants, night clubs and shops. I’ve been staying here for ten years, and there has only been one rate increase — of less than $10. I love the neighborhood, which has become my home away from home.

With all its spareness, I love this place. I’m not even going to give you the name of it.  Room rate?  $88 a night.