Never Mind Women’s Rights: How About Children’s Rights to Remain Unborn

by francine Hardaway on February 19, 2011

Who are you pro-life people kidding? Do you even know what’s out happens in the lives of children whose parents should never have been parents? Do you think every kid that isn’t aborted lives with two preferably Christian parents in a little house on the prairie? How naive and self-centered you are.
I was a foster parent. The birth mom of my foster family (4 childen) had the first child at 16. She was stunned to find out how much responsibility it was, and soon became a drug-addicted welfare mom. Only after her fourth kid got to kindergarten did Child Protective Services finally get involved and realize the kids were starving. By that time, the dad had committed suicide behind a drug deal, and the mom had become a full-fledged crack whore.
One of the few parental responsibilities the mother shouldered was to sign a paper saying she didn’t want her children to have sex education in school. She said she wanted to tell them in her own way.
Well, the oldest got pregnant at 16 just like her mom. She had the child and ran away, ending up in prison. She has had a tough life ever since.
The younger three lived on and off in my home after being removed from the birth mother, who was only concerned about losing the Aid to Families with Dependent Children.
My late husband, who was a physician, consented to become a foster parent only because those kids were stealing from convenience stores to feed themselves while in first grade, and running drugs to make money.
The middle girl also got pregnant at 16, but she was living with me at the time. The boy wanted nothing to do with her or a baby. She didn’t want it either. She begged me for help, and I took her to Planned Parenthood, behind the back of the system. They gave her a lot of education and she chose RU486.
If Planned Parenthood hadn’t existed, she would also have been a mother at 16. The foster care system had no services for people like her; they only had pediatricians.
She is now 25. She has a toddler, another child born to a man in prison. She’s trying very hard to support him with her 8th grade education, but it’s not easy. She probably should have waited a few more years before having a child.
When people ask me if I am pro-life, I always say yes. In my own case, when I got pregnant, I carried the child and became a single mom (I later married the father, but that’s another story). That’s because I was 30, working, with a Ph.D.
It’s not fair to bring a child into a world of poverty, drug addiction, and violence such as the world my fosters lived in before I fell in love with them and tried to rescue them. I don’t think they would choose to have been brought into that world. They were terrified, like puppies in a puppy mill.
Planned Parenthood, and other counseling services like it, serve a purpose.  They are not a convenience for middle class women who choose to terminate pregnancies because they are on a career path. Those people DO have other choices. No, these services are really for the unborn children who are saved from lives of terror, violence and poverty — from being parented by rapists, drug addicts, and people who are downright irresponsible.
The burden on society of gangs, street crime, homeless children, and the other unintended consequences of forcing women to give birth to unwanted children is far higher than Planned Parenthood’s budget.
And for those of you who say, “have the child and put it up for adoption with childless couples desperately wanting a child,” you are even more naive. Most of these unfit parents will not give their children up for adoption until it’s too late.  They keep the cute baby and then want to give away the older child who is already scarred and hard to handle.
I wish people would just open their eyes before speaking, and see what is really around them. Or, if they want to be pro-life, they all ought to be made to serve ten years as foster parents.
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February 19, 2011 at 9:37 am

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Michael Markman (Mickeleh) February 20, 2011 at 12:28 am

And for kids who make it into the foster care system it’s a crapshoot against long odds. How many get placed with people like you, compared to those placed with foster families that provide scant emotional, or educational support—and are just doing it for the checks?

Darindevore February 20, 2011 at 12:53 am

All I know is my friend Paul came from a situation close to what you describe and he’s happy to be alive. He is a happy Christian now living on the hood of Stockton CA. Abortion is not the solution.

Darindevore February 20, 2011 at 12:53 am

All I know is my friend Paul came from a situation close to what you describe and he’s happy to be alive. He is a happy Christian now living on the hood of Stockton CA. Abortion is not the solution.

Pete February 20, 2011 at 12:54 am

So you’re saying that it’s better to murder a child than it is to have them live in circumstances you find unacceptable? Where would you draw the line between an acceptable life and an unacceptable life? And why limit yourself to murdering the unborn? Your logic would make it perfectly acceptable to murder children any time their parents lifestyle fail to meet your standards. After all, your logic says it’s better to have never been born at all than to be brought into a life of unacceptable circumstances.

hardaway February 20, 2011 at 1:25 am

Yes, I guess it does, because we have simple ways of preventing the massive
struggles these kids have to overcome.

And I have noticed an interesting thread. Both here and on Twitter, all the
people who call me a murderer are men. Women would like to choose: and by
that I mean choose to have a child, choose to use contraception, choose to
abort, and choose to learn how their bodies work. Many would choose to have
and keep the child. But why deny them the opportunity to have a choice?
You’re not the one who carries the baby.

veda February 20, 2011 at 3:37 am

Clearly we should immediately abort all children not born in the US or another highly developed country. Many African nations simply shouldn’t be having any children born at all, why should a child from the Congo even bother with life? this argument would probably get rid of a lot of kids from other African countries and we could probably debate the Palestinian kids situation.Heck, we should probably abort most of the kids born in India too because the odds of them having a horrible life is pretty high.

Mbostleman February 20, 2011 at 6:03 am

The implication here is that if Planned Parenthood is not funded by the government, it won’t be funded. If a group of people want to raise money for Planned Parenthood privately, then they should do that. This is basis of the idea that progressivism is effectively intellectual sloth. It is so much easier to force the funding of this cause or that by gunpoint than it is to do the real heavy lifting and change people’s minds such that they give money voluntarily.

Bradley0107 February 21, 2011 at 12:55 am

You that are criticizing this post, are you foster or adoptive parents? Ok then shut up because you have no idea. Do you know what it is like to parent a child that suffers from PTSD, reactive attachment disorder, bipolar, and intermitent explosive disorder? Do you know what its like to sleep behind locked doors because of the threat of violence? Do you know what its like to have your wife rushed to the emergency room because she has been beat up. Do you know what its like to have to hide the knives so he can’t try to stab you again. The DA won’t press charges because he is a juvenile so he lives with you until he is 18 when he is not in a treatment center. He came to us when he was 8 he is now 18. We are Christians, if someone says pray I will strangle them. By the time they are put for adoption its too late. Talk with other adoptive/foster parents you will learn this is normal

Olmanphoto February 22, 2011 at 1:55 am

opening the eyes of a pro life person is an oxymoron

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